Gold Digging or Insurance

I vowed to myself I would write at least one post over Christmas break. So, audience, here we are…

“Oh wow,” my coworker said with a smirk, “you’ll never get a boyfriend.”

That was the response given to me after demanding that I get an expensive ring whenever my future husband takes his knee. I know what you’re thinking: “it’s not about the size of the ring, if you love him, you would marry him with a ring from the gumball machine.” But, just because I want expensive ring doesn’t make me a gold digger.

Seeing as how we’re coming to the end of proposal season, I’d like to share with you a couple of reasons as to why I have high standards.

  1. I want my husband to decide to marry me a year or two before asking me for my hand. » This is a symbol to me that he didn’t make a rash decision because we’re in a cupcake phase.
  2. I want my husband to work hard for my ring and have it paid for before giving it to me. » This is a symbol to me that he is willing to work hard to provide for what we need.
  3. I want my husband to show me that I’m valuable enough to him that he has put such thought and consideration in asking me to give him the rest of my life. » no explanation needed.

When it comes down to it, it’s not about the size of the ring. It’s not about the monetary value of the ring. It truly is the symbol behind it. When my soulmate comes along, I want to look at my left hand and know that the decision behind such a sacred promise was not taken lightly. After all, d!v0r(3 isn’t in my vocabulary. <— See? I couldn’t even type it.

Maybe my coworker was right. Maybe I’ll never get a boyfriend.

But, I’ll keep my standards high and focus on becoming a woman in college.


Craving a Mentor

When we were little, adults placed a huge emphasis on having a role model or “hero.” It was important for developing individuals to have someone to look up to and help guide our decisions. I remember writing stories about the people that influenced my life. We even had a specific date where we would bring them and introduce them to our peers. My question is, why have role models become few and far between for young adults?

The argument could probably be made that role models eventually shift to “mentors” when speaking of young adults. But when observing my peers, I don’t see the half of them even having mentors. I, myself, don’t have a mentor. Of course, I am still influenced by the people I called my role models long ago, but I am in a different place in life now, both physically and mentally. Now, I have tried expanding my search for a role model from just my family members to those I interact with daily.

When I look around, I don’t see any one person that I truly would want to learn from. I don’t see any one person that shows humility, charity, love, enthusiasm, diligence, expertise in an area of my interests, a willingness to teach, etc. Those whom I have attempted to look up to have shown their quirks. They’ve appeared to be a “selfless do-gooder” but eventually show themselves as having an ultimate self-righteous goal.

Am I naive to think that there is someone in this small town community that exemplifies the majority of the qualities I am looking for in a role model, and ultimately myself? Should I focus less on finding the seemingly perfect person and realize that everyone has flaws? When do I draw the line between “it’s just a flaw” and honest bad character?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am disappointed that I haven’t been able to find any one person that I return to for guidance in this life. I feel like I’m striving to be a better friend, citizen, student, employee without any direction from a mentor. I’m specifically seeking a mentor that doesn’t attempt to force their own agendas, but genuinely cares for where my future is headed and how they can impact my life, how they can make me a better citizen for this world.

I am willing to learn. I crave a source to ignite passion for my major and my community. Who in this college town can sacrifice their time to impact a developing adult? The emphasis on wisdom from an outside person shouldn’t stop at adolescence, but in this case extend beyond even becoming a woman in college.

Just an Update

How could I have a blog about becoming a woman in college without a post about finals? This is the second day back from Thanksgiving break and the stress is slowly starting to set in. My question is, how are we still having tests this week when we have finals next week? What new information could a professor possibly put on a test within such a short time period? The answer is simple. They talk 10 times faster.

My strategy for getting through these next couple days are as follows:

  1. Don’t panic.
  2. Stop panicking.

I’ll be sure to keep everyone updated on how my plan works.


Me: “Who you leaning toward?”

Friend: “Can’t vote. (But) probably would’ve just exercised my right not to vote anyway. But I feel left out because I can’t play a role in one of the most hilarious (and a little pathetic) historical elections our country has ever had.”

Me: “Not voting only contributes to the problem.”

Friend: “How do you figure?”

Me: “If it were the case that both leading representatives were so outstanding and you chose not to vote because you thought either would do just as good of a job then it wouldn’t be a problem. But if it’s the case that you find neither has the capability to be the leader of a country and you don’t use your democratic voice to skew the votes to an outside party than you have no right to complain about the state of the country. You sat back and let the uneducated vote over what the media has shown them and that is a problem.”

Friend: “D*mn. I hadn’t thought of it that way.”


Not voting is a problem. Not educating yourself is a problem. Go Vote 2016.

Seeking Advice

My landlord and I have finally come to an impasse. To prevent stressing myself out, I refuse to move out before the end of the school year. But, obviously I need to start thinking about a general plan now. Readers, this is where your part comes in!

If I decide to stay in my college town for the summer, I’m considering renting a one bedroom or studio apartment. After living with seven people where I’m at now, I don’t really have the desire to share my space with anyone else. But, I’m nervous that this is just me trying to grow up too quickly. Should I be pushing for that much independence at 19 years old? Should I be willing to work twice as much as I am now for privacy?

On the other hand, I’m considering going home for the summer. This would be the first time living with my mom since I graduated high school and I’m not sure if I’m willing to do what I would consider regressing. Not to mention, I’ve made it a point to not associate with very many people from my hometown. But, it could give me a chance to save up and do some reckless traveling I’ve been meaning to do.

To keep it short, my two options are live alone for the summer and into the school year, or stay with my mom for a couple months. What do you think the wisest choice is here?

Why the heck is every decision life or death when becoming a woman in college?



I just got out of bible study about 10 minutes ago. While there, someone said something to me (who does not usually attend our specific bible study) that really got to me. I join a certain group of people every Thursday to talk about how to include God in the midst of being a college student. The reason I continue to go back to this group is because of the transparency of our relationship with one another. In the time we spend together, we discuss the details of life that “regular” churches don’t like to touch on. We discuss alcohol, sex, different religions, drugs and anything else that is often hushed.

I can honestly say, because of the opportunity this group gives me to be open and honest about what I am going through, my relationship with God has been strengthened, for lack of a better term. To be more clear, our relationship has grown in ways that I didn’t think possible. I think I connect this clarity of relationship with the transparency of my bible study. To give an example, I once heard someone say, “I struggle with physical attraction to women. When it comes to pornography, I can’t stop myself. What can I do about this?” And for a man to come out in the midst of women, our youth group leader, even God Himself and be that honest showed me that that was what God meant by brothers and sisters in Christ. We should be able to come to one another with anything, just like we should be able to go to God with anything. We are supposed to listen to one another and help one another, each of these being aspects of relationships, worldly and Godly.

Tonight, our topic was relationships, worldly and Godly. While discussing with my group, I was told I was “getting too personal.” That is something I most definitely have a problem with. How in the world could I be too personal with a being who physically created me? We, as Christians, go out and tell the world that “God already knows everything. We can’t tell Him anything that He hasn’t heard before. Go to one another, in Christ, and lean on one another.” Then we tell each other that something being said is “too personal.” Listen here, buddy. God knows when I pick my nose, when I fart in public and when I get my period. There is NOTHING that I can say that would be “too personal” for Him to hear. As far as who I worship with, they’re going to have to deal with the flowery parts as well as the raunchy!

I think this is part of the problem with Christianity in the churches today. We try to act as if we’re not humans who struggle. We sit around, quoting the bible, acting high and mighty when everyone knows so-and-so went out Friday night, and brother so-and-so has a drinking problem, etc. Have we ever stopped to think that if we addressed what we were struggling with – our PERSONAL problems – that we wouldn’t have such a hard time overcoming them? Have we ever stopped to think that our attitude towards hiding the bad parts of life is why people shy away from church?

Here’s a little challenge for my Christ followers out there: this week, talk to someone about the gross parts of your life that you’re struggling with. Talk to someone about why your heart is broken, or why you’re mad at God or the addictions you face daily. From personal experience, that is what helps grow a relationship with God. As far as those that shy away from church because of that judgmental atmosphere, call me up. You have a place with us college kids that like to take things personal.

Who knew I would get so heated while becoming a woman in college?

Music Appreciation’s Greatest Lesson

At the beginning of my freshman year, I had a course titled music appreciation. The first class was tainted with unease when my professor made a speech about the amount of freshman we had in the class. He told us that many of us were not ready for the amount of life that was about to fall into our laps. He told us that there would be plenty of bad things to happen to us, one example being that at least one of us in the room would lose a close family member over the course of the semester. He told us to remember, in those times, that life must still go on. We must continue to make the most of our education and come above the hardships that were sure to come our way.

At the time, we had all stared at him with confusion as to why this man was telling us such horrible things. Last night, I understood. At 8:38 p.m., I found out my uncle had passed away. It wasn’t a huge surprise, as he had been in and out of the hospital for the past couple of months with cancer, pneumonia, and everything else that makes you gasp when someone says they have it. It also wasn’t like I was best of friends with the man, as he was my great uncle. But, he was my family nonetheless. He was someone I remembered wrapping my arms around at special times of the year. He was someone who made the family laugh when things got too serious. He was someone that made me who I am.

Today, I woke up unable to understand how the sun still gets to rise when my uncle doesn’t get to see it. I sat through my first class wondering what the point of it all was when death is sure to be the answer. I ate breakfast without tasting the food. And I typed this blog post finding it hard to form my mourning into words. However, the point is that I did see the sun rise, I did go to my first class, I did eat breakfast and I did type my blog post. I remembered what my music appreciation professor told me that very first class period and continued to make the best of my education. With that being said, I feel as though I took a huge step today, not only in handling the hardships of life but also in becoming a woman in college.