I’m just sitting here waiting for my car inspection to get done. I’ll skip the panic and fumbles it took to get me to this small town auto shop, and go straight to the lesson learned. 

Ironically, my lesson has nothing to do with cars. I’m still clueless in that area. It does have to do with this limbo land I’ve found myself in. My classmates have always been a year or two older than me, and my peers have been much older than that. I’ve always done well at saying the right thing and acting the appropriate way to somehow gain the friendship of those wiser. The difference in mental maturity was never noticable, until maybe now. 

One on one conversations with friends have opened my eyes to how differently I see the world. It became apparent when those I related with during their “free spirited lost days” had somehow formed a plan for years down the road. They’re no longer wondering what they want to do with their degree, they’re paving a path to reach whatever they deem as “making it.” 

Lord, I’m still not there. I’m still working toward graduation, let alone plans for after. These 21-24 year olds lead me to question why I’m not where they are, but the fact of the matter is, one year is a world of difference in this limbo land of early 20’s. 

Who knows if I’ll still be lost by the time I reach 20, but seeing as how 20 is right around the corner, I’m just going to say I’m still a lost girl becoming a woman in college.